The “decision is mine, & mine alone”

Tuesday 1  December 2009, 11:15am appointment @  Kew Public Hospital, my monthly visit with my “Young-Gun” …Surgeon Specialist Dr Dean Rusk……………….

I had already made up my mind B4 arriving that I would take the initiative and get in first, and thats what happened. On entering the “consultation” room, I asked Dr Dean Rusk, if I could speak” he replied “Yes” and I related our discussion with Dr Manning “Head Of Nuclear Medicine” Dunedin Public Hospital.

Dr Manning had related to Myrtle & I, the results of my Full Body Scan & Xray, and that there were “no.spots” in the Neck and Chest area, however it’s not to say, there wasn’t any there !

He wanted to try another Radiation Method…………………………………..

Thats when I “turned – off” completely !!! …I realized that my Cancer had moved elsewhere, MORE, spots, MORE radiation treatments, MORE trips to Dunedin, More Hospital stays, MORE appointments !!!

I told Mr Dean Rusk………NO MORE !!!

FINITO….Kaput !….Finish !!!…….He relented and agreed that my decision was FINAL.

The “Cross-Roads”..anew,direction’signposted’

Throughout the history of mankind, many GREAT decisions have been made, and many GREAT men & women have risen to prominence & found a “seat-in-history“  for all times & seasons. ……………………………………………..

More recently, Bill Gates, Microsoft Software Guru who made millions, and even today, continues to give “millions” away to charity .

Ray Kroc, paid his “dues-as-a-Salesman” and at age 52, built “McDonald’s”

in to a Billion Dollar business in 22 years. IBM took 46 years to make One Billion Dollars in revenues, Xerox…took 63 years !!!

decisions,decisions,decisions…….great & small.

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I, Mike K Terekia,have reached the Cross Roads of my life, and have viewed the New Directions “signposted”  I have accepted the responsibility and have shared  and made my decision with the full support, of  Myrtle, my woman, my wife !

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On Dec 1 2009 I cease all Radiation Treatment in all shape & form, out of the greatest respect and love for my”Young Gun” Surgeon specialist,

Dr Dean Rusk, I will permit him the decency to hear him out, but the FINAL DECISION, is mine & mine alone.

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Whatever TIME I have left, will be Quality Time, spent with my whanau-whanui, and pursuing my many passions to the max !

Today is Thursday 26 Nov 2009, on Tuesday I received from Australia, a

Battery Operated Ride On Bike I had purchased for my not-quite-2 year

old grandson Maikel, his “reaction” is recorded for all posterity, and Myrtle

his Dad & I were chuffed !

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Myrtle returned from work on Tuesday 24 Nov 2009 (our Son’s 33rd birthday) we gave him a Fleece Jacket 4XL and a Cow Cocky’s Jersey !

anyways, Myrtle related to me, she had been told about a Whanau/family who has suffered as a consequence of the Economic Recession.

I was able to turn to my passion, “Niche – Vegetable – Gardening “and provide the necessities of life, to this family in need, I got the jump on the gardening season this year and my garden is simply flourishing.

My family have always ““ribbed me” regards the SIZE of my garden, particularly because of my Cancer, they don’t realize that a passion-isn’t-work, but therapeutic to me !!!

Myrtle related how a staff member out of “sheer exasperation” said “What doesn’t he bloody grow ?”

Mike K Terekia

Invercargill

Southland

“Tiny-Revolutions”

The “inspiration” for this ‘ posting’  came via an article into my Inbox by Chris Brogan, titled “Tiny Revolutions”

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From that Article I deduced that we “homo-sapians” are, and have been Revolutionaries in miniature all our lives ! – Mini Che Guevera’s, Fidel Castro’s, Mao Tse Tung’s, Joseph Stalin’s…..”Who Me ?”…..”Yes, You !”

The definition of a “TINY REVOLUTION” …is To – Break – Away

Break Away From What……you may well ask ?

-  A “Parting-Of-The-Red Sea”…..moving from the old to the new.

-  Changes

- Rites of Passage

- New Mindsets

These “Tiny Revolutions” are occurring hourly, daily,weekly, monthly, yearly they happen with or without our say so, which leads to the saying,

There are 3 types of people in this world,

– Those who makes things happen

– Those who watch things happen,

_ and those, who are left “wondering” – what happened ?

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My….Tiny Revolution, needs to be decided B4 December 1, 2009, when I have my ” monthly” meeting with my Favourite,Young Gun,Surgeon Specialist, Dr Dean Rusk !

After Myrtle and I,  met with Dr Manning, Head of Nuclear Medicine Dunedin Public Hospital, we were both thoroughly demoralised and saddened by the FULL BODY RESULTS, my immediate reaction was to  “pull-the-pin ” ……2. STOP. it all………

quoting Frank Sinatra …“MY WAY”…….unquote !

Thursday 19 2009 – A Full Body Scan !

In an Older Posting relating to “Murphy’s Law #4″ and pertaining to happenings/incidents  each  time Myrtle & I visited Dunedin Public Hospital, I mentioned I could finally “slam” the door, on those “lemony-incidents”….how very, very wrong I was soon to find out!

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Myrtle and I travelled to Dunedin a day B4 the appointment, I am unable to relieve Myrtle at driving, we left Invercargill @ 3:00pm arriving @ 6:00pm  at Kowhai House, after picking up “our key” at the Dunedin Hospital Reception Desk we promptly retired for the evening.

At 8:50am we presented ourselves at the Nuclear Medicine Laboratory, where we met Dr.Nichols (lovely communicable  man) easy-going, polite, a very reassuring man) he was the Dr, who “looked” after me during my Radiation Iodine Treatment.

Full Body Scan………Technology in action is never really appreciated until one is actually involved, and its  been used in your “healing process”

After 30 minutes, Myrtle and I moved down to Ground Floor to see the Dude in charge of all this modern Nuclear Development, a Dr Manning.as Myrtle was explaining to the receptionist about our appointment with Dr Manning, Mr Dean Rusk (My Surgeon/Specialist) walked by, I smiled @ him and he responded by “touching me on the shoulder” that simple gesture, meant more to me then a 1000 operations & appointments Wuuuuuu – Weeeeeee !!!

The Lemon……..don’t get me wrong folks, Dr Manning is another wonderful/Dr Specialist I’ve met in the “Healing Process” He began to explain the Full Body Scan Results to Myrtle and I, and it “rocked-me” to the very core of my rotten cancerous-festering damn scab !!!

my immediate reaction was to LASH OUT, instead the “flood gates opened inside me” and I just let it, outwardly no.one would have noticed anything, that’s my RELEASE VALVE, from REACTING !!!

I don’t remember much after that …….I just turned off !!!

Dr Manning, had explained that cancer travels thru the “nymph nodes”  in the body, and that the Scan revealed the Chest area to be clear (thats not to say, it’s absolutely CLEAR) the Scan also revealed a SPOT in the Hip Area….and that “they wanted to try another RADIATION METHOD of attack !!!……..this is where I TURNED OFF, horizontally & vertically, I just wanted out !

Myrtle and I walked slowly & sadly back to Kowhai House Carpark, and I said to her “Mum, I have an appointment with Dr Dean Rusk on the 1st Dec.2009, and I am going to ‘pull – the -pin“

No more trips to Dunedin, No more appointments, No more Scans,

No more Radiation Tre atments.

I am taking back control of my life, come what may, and regardless of however long I may live, I am going to live my way.

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THE LEMONADE……….an “inspiration” came to me  at 2am Thursday morning and I called this Poem………………………..

The Stillness Of Morn

Yea Lord, I seeketh thee

“in the stillness of morn”  as thou hast promised

have I sought thee !

e’n fore….the stirring of babes

the stirring of bird…….nothing  stirs,

but, the “stirrings of my soul”

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Yea Lord, I do find thee

“in the stillness of morn” as thou hast promised

have I found thee, as the “gushing forth of water”

do inspirations flow…..from the heart, to mind.to pen,

Thus have I found thee !

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Yea Lord, I searcheth thee, with all my heart,

“in the stillness of morn”

…………………………………………….

Mike K Terekia.

!

low.ebbbb

Myrtles Diary Part 6

Saturday 13 June – 9:45am, I am sitting besides my husband, and he’s looking absolutely exhausted this morning – ohhh that he could have a decent sleep !

Apparently, Mike tried to have some breakfast – but choked so badly, they’re putting in a ‘feeder line’  because he is not getting enough fluids, he’s passing water, but it’s too – concentrated ! …….more fluids & food is required to build up his failing strength.

Mr Dean Rusk….visited to checkup on Mike,stating he wanted to leave the trachea in for afew  more days yet, because Mike wasn’t eating or drinking,and his breathing was ‘laboured’

He confirmed the ‘feedline’ plus an extra boost of calcium – Mike was advisedto “tell the nurse immediately” if  his fingers began  tingling, also  around his mouth.

Gave Mike’s feet a massage with Nivea Nourishing Care, his feet were so dry,his skin just absorbed the lotion like a sponge….good for my own hands as well……… I’ll treat myself  later on tonight !

Myrtle, my woman, my wife!

Through Thick and Thin, Good Times & Bad, Happy days & Sad,my wife has been there for me….I believe whole heartedly in the………..

Law of Reciprocation and at “days end” I could look into her eyes in all honesty, love, humility and gratitude and say “I……. tried”

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I  have pondered, thought, re-thought about bringing Myrtles Diary to its conclusion, my wife’s training as a professionally trained teacher, is quite apparent, if one  was fortunate enough to view her notes and Diary entries, are “full”  so full in fact one could write per se …..everything she has diligently recorded for posterity, and if that isn’t enough, her writing is so legible one could stand 2 feet away and still be able to read what is written,it was because of this Talent and Skill that prompted me to Write This Blog in the first instance.

So this posting I dedicate to Myrtle, my woman, my wife of 40 years.

We first met in the Summer of our youth..1960 and Time has passed so quickly by that to day 2009, we find ourselves, in the autumn of our twilight years.

We have 3 Children….Anna – Marie, who passed away after 24 hours, Karina, whose name I gave and has worked in Gisborne, the past 2 years as a Computer Tutor, and our son  Brandon.

Brandon is a Website/Graphic Arts Designer, with his own business, married to a lovely woman, Julie-Anne, who teaches with Myrtle at the same school.

They have both blessed all our lives with 4 beautiful geeky – nerds, 3 girls, Taylor-Rose, Jhaymean, Jessica and a delightful boy, Maikel.

Are our lives full ?…..”Yes, immensely so !!!”

My Bi-Lateral Thyroid Dectomy 11 hour operation, has taken my little whanau and I,  to depths of fear & uncertainties, but never-despair,to unimaginable heights of whanau relationship and  joy, to  our whanau-whanui those present, and those beyond the veil

Heoi ano, na te aroha, na te tautoko, na te awhina hoki a te whanau whanui, ka piki ai te wairua o te tangata. He mihi a te ngakau tenei ki toku nei whanau whanui, he mihi, he mihi, he mihi!

And so, ’tis the love, ’tis the support, ’tis the help in many shapes & forms that boosts the spirit of man. This then is my heartfelt thanks to my extended family from all over Aotearoa – thank you, thrice thank you!!

The Bunker Room…

“The Bunker – Room ” conjures up dungeon type settings,but alas no, it is a Room specially prepared by a Radiation Specialist, for the application of “Radiation Iodine Treatment”

The concern here is Safety…..particularly those patients who use the room after the treatment, safety from radiation.

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Black rubber matting is laid down on the floors, by a radiation specialist, and taped to prevent radiation leakage. Special attention is paid to the toilet area where water is passed and the front of the bowl, where bladder waste could leak, radiation is excreted from the body via the Bladder and Bowel,Spittle, and Sweat.

STRICT RULES……..are adhered to, mainly to protect the Visitors from contamination.

- a distance of 1 to 2 metres between Visitor & patient

- visits limited to 30 minutes per day!

- What goes in, cannot come out !

- Pills and Meals are left outside the door,

- the patient must never leave the room!

- patients in close proximity and rooms are moved & closed

The patient needs to be Totally self-sufficient, not even Nursing staff are permitted in the room, except  in life threatening situations !!!

Generally, the “Radiation Iodine ” is orally taken, but because I  am unable to swallow, it was taken intravenously via the ” feeder plug” in my gut.

Regular geiger counter readings are taken to monitor “radiation levels” for example, readings on day1….were 120, the day I left it was 60, still too high according to the specialist, but he relented and sent me home on conditions.

One of the conditions, was to stay  away from pregnant women, when my wife and I exited the lift, the 1st person we encountered …was a pregnant woman !

Mountains High – Valleys Deep

Whilst perusing the Southland Times Sports page recently, I encountered a Boxing picture which took my breath away.

( I was immediately reminded of  David & Goliath in the Bible)

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A Giant of a man, (the Russian Champion) been challenged by a “whisper” of  a man in comparison ( I likened this picture to a Chihuahua and a Great Dane squaring off.

I assumed the Russian pummelled the African/Englishman into tomorrow, but hell no !!!

As the fight progressed, the African/Englishman switched his attack from the head (because it was too hard) he was hurting himself  more than his opponent.

Eventually, at fights  end, and  to everyone’s  surprise and amazement, the Russian was unable to put away his opponent, thereby losing the fight on points !

Both these stories should be Great Motivating  Uplifters to inspire and encourage us against “humungus odds” and come-out successfully @ the sound of the bell for “our-fights” against our opponents whom we confront hour after hour, day after day week after week…..

To The Victor…the Spoils….!!!

the biblical miracle, the “Parting of the Red Sea”

The…..”Parting of the Red Sea” under the ‘Hand-of God” directing Moses, who lead Israel out of the Land of Egypt.

The Real and Actual problem, was “getting Egypt” out of the Israelites.

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This biblical-miracle symbolised the “parting-of-ways”…rites of passage! moving away from  zones of comfort into something more ‘threatening-challenging-totally & absolutely foreign, dependable NOT on hearsay, but faith.

The Israelites had been in captivity for so-long, they had become more Egyptian, then the Egyptians themselves,  (An ancient Hebrew Tribe called the Hykos Peoples) actually ruled Egypt !!!

After a time,Israel began to ‘hedge & regret’ leaving Egypt, and began to rebel against Moses, until God reminded Moses, it was He, the  God of Israel,  to whom Israel is rebelling gainst.

Punishment for this indiscretional disobedience  was 40 years in the wilderness, of which many that came out of Egypt, died there !

It was a totally new leader, leading a totally  new generation of Israelites, into the Promised Land !

Yes, even  strong, faithful, loyal obedient, Prophet Servant, Moses digressed, and he also, wasn’t permitted to enter into the Promised Land……………..

when tapping the Rock for water as instructed by God, he took it upon himself, to say “We” instead of acknowledging and giving  God that, which was Rightfully God’s.

“Render unto Caesar, that which is Caesar’s,

Render unto God, that, which is God’s”

Turning “Lemons into Lemonade”

Too – often we hear the “Why Me ?” syndrome, when it comes to Pain & Suffering.

Reverse Engineering……says “Why Not You ?”

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The legendary bird the ‘Phoenix’ – arising from the ashes, is the Ideal symbol for pain and  suffering.

Far too many of my “fellow homo-sapians” look outwardly for solutions to the many  problems that besets them, the wise men of old including the absolute wise.man of all, Jesus Christ….says .“Look within”

Mankind has the gift, the power within, to change our negatives the Lemons into Lemonade…our positives !

We need not allow the negatives to drag us down into the depths of  despondency,  frustration & utter chaos……..regardless of “our-situations”help and support is there,

“Those who have ears to hear,hear….those who have eyes to see, see”

“Mene Mene shekel parsi……..thou has been weighed in the balance and found wanting”…..the “lemon”

For thou O God, has tested us,

Thou has refined us, as silver is refined….”the ultimate lemonade”